Friday, August 13, 2010

Every Single Girl Wants a Bad Boy

Here's a provable experiment: Ask any single girl what she's looking for in a male, and 4 out of 5 times she'll answer you with these three little words:
"A nice guy."

But she would be lying to you, because a "nice guy" is pretty much the second-to-LAST type of male she's looking for. The last type being, of course, a "smelly guy."

What women really want are "bad boys." Just think about it for a minute. When was the last time you ever even heard of a nice guy hooking up with girls as if he were the last man on earth? Isn't it always the kind of rough-looking-player-who-doesn't-give-a-flying-flip-about-anyone-but-himself type who always has his pick of the ladies?

Yes it is. So guys, when it comes to the subject of "how to treat girls," forget all about what your mama taught you and QUIT BEING SO NICE TO WOMEN. THEY WON'T TRUST YOU WITH THAT APPROACH AND YOU'LL JUST WIND UP SCARING MOST OF THEM AWAY!

Of course, there are times when you absolutely must be nice to the ladies--like at work and at school, for example. Because you might end up in a heap of trouble if they complain to your boss or teacher about you. That's one of the reasons why workplace romances hardly ever work out.

But getting back to this "bad boy phenomenon." There are 3 reasons why women adore this kind of a man:

1.) They think that, through the power of their love, they can somehow change a bad boy into a gentleman.

(Unbelievably SILLY, but true. And the more Disney movies they watched as little girls, the more they're inclined to believe that this impossible task is indeed possible.)

2.) They just feel safer with a bad boy because nice guys tend to be effeminate, wimpy, and spineless.

(Which is a reason I totally agree with, because of all the lunatic predators out there who are more likely to attack a woman than a man.)

3.) They find bad boys to be exciting, and nice guys to be way too freaking BORING!

("Girls just wanna have fun," right?)

But what do all of you think of these observations? Are my ideas completely wrong? I know there are exceptions to every rule, but in my experience women tend to think of nice guys pretty much the same way they do their other "girlfriends:" They're basically just a shoulder to cry on after their latest bad boy crush has once again walked all over them and broken their tender little hearts!